If Operating Systems Ran Airlines

UNIX Airways

Everyone brings one piece of the plane along when they come to
the airport. They all go out on the runway and put the plane
together piece by piece, arguing non-stop about what kind of
plane they are supposed to be building.


Air DOS

Everybody pushes the airplane until it glides, then they jump
on and let the plane coast until it hits the ground again. Then
they push again, jump on again, and so on ...


Mac Airlines

All the stewards, captains, baggage handlers, and ticket agents
look neat and act exactly the same. Every time you ask questions
about details, you are gently but firmly told that you don't
need to know, that you really don't want to know, and that
everything will be done for you without your ever having to know,
so just shut up and watch the movie.


Windows Air

The terminal is pretty and colorful, with friendly stewards, easy
baggage check and boarding, and a smooth take-off. After about 10
minutes in the air and at 40,000 feet, the plane explodes with no
warning whatsoever.


Windows NT Air

Just like Windows Air, but costs more, uses 4 much bigger planes
to cover the same route, and takes out all the other aircraft
within a 40-mile radius when it explodes.


Linux Air

Disgruntled employees of all the other OS airlines decide to start
their own airline. They build the planes, ticket counters, and pave
the runways themselves. They charge a small fee to cover the cost
of printing the ticket, but you can also download and print the
ticket yourself. When you board the plane, you are given a seat,
four bolts, a wrench and a copy of the seat-HOWTO.html. You take
the seat to a location of your choice and bolt it into the deck,
per the instructions. Once settled, the fully adjustable seat is
very comfortable, the plan leaves and arrives on time without a
single problem, the in-flight meal is wonderful.

You try to tell customers of the other airlines about the great
trip, but all they can say is, "Jesus, you had to do what with the
seat?"