Hmm, I believe my thread has been officially hijacked...

Nobody in either campaign is talking about a substantial victory on either side.

Clearly those of you who are predicting a substantial margin must be privy to better information (i.e. ridiculously expensive polling data) than the campaigns.

Based upon your unobtainium data... Three cheers to a landslide Republican across-the-board victory!

We should be popping the champagne now since, according to you guys, it's already in the bag. I prefer Dom Perignon, personally and will be sure to spread the word to my fellow unemployed countrymen that all is well and the economy nationwide is booming and we can afford it, particularly here in Seattle and for my best friends in Ohio.

North Korea has nukes under Bush's watch and nobody's willing to do anything about Iran, but Goddamit the world's safer since we didn't find WMD's in Iraq but that cocksucker Saddam is under wraps.

You guys have convinced me. I'm retracting everything negative I've ever said about GWB and the cowboy doctrine.

I'm sorry I ever doubted the Homeland Security hysteria, because I now know that making money for myself and my aging parents isn't really that important in the context of the new world order where terrorists are lurking around every corner and will blow me up if I dissent from the erosion of my liberty.

Why do I need Liberty anyway? The Republicans are here to protect me.

From here on out, I'm going to follow the Republican party line.

It's a good thing that we gut the FCC and consolidate media ownership into the hands of the powerful corporate few, all the better to consolidate the electorate with.

It's also good thing that we hire corporate lobbyists from the energy industry to write the nations energy policy. Any regulation that costs the oil industry profit must be bad by definition.

We also can't forget our God constituency, they need to have key positions dictating national science policy.

But wait! There's more! Last month seemed to be as good a month as any to propose opening untouched, pristine national forests to oil drilling, old-growth timber clear cutting, and mineral strip mining. Unfortunately this plan for progress was derailed until after the election after two million citizens complained to their elected representatives. Damn them! We'll just have to slide it by under the radar after the election.

You guys are right. I have no idea why I shouldn't be a Republican. After all, since I make under $200k a year, I got a $350 tax break last year, which I'm gong to start a business with.

You win. I concede defeat. You've finally beaten me down. Whatever could I have been thinking?

After all, as a small business owner, I'm getting all kinds of relief from the Republicans whereas Kerry wants to tax all low-dollar businesses and households into oblivion and transfer 100% of the country's tax dollars away from the entire defense and national intelligence budget and funnel it straight into welfare ghetto mothers wombs to make their offspring wealthy.

Since the North Koreans now have nuclear weapons under Bush's watch and Iran is getting pretty close, I know I can count on the Crawford Cowboy to go after them an kick ass, since the policy has worked so well on our dry run against a tinpot dictator.

I'm going to vote Republican right down the ticket. You guys win.

Whatever could I have been thinking?